BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY

Bridget Jones's Diary, author Helen Fielding. Extremely funny book. Makes passers-by wonder whether apparently alone-in-her-room woman of substance is queer in head, as giggles away to glory.

• "Why can't married people understand that this is no longer a polite question to ask? (i.e. 'How's your love-life going') "We wouldn't rush up t them and roar, 'How's your marriage going? Still having sex?' "
• "Skirt is demonstrably neither sick nor abscent. Appalled by management's blatently sizist attitude to skirt. Obsessive interest in skirt suggests management sick rather than skirt."
• “It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth and power but the pursuit of attainable goals: and what is a diet if not that?”
• "Humph. Have woken up v. fed up. On top of everything, only two weeks to go until birthday, when will have to face up to the fact that another entire year has gone by, during which everyone else except me has mutated into Smug Married, having children plop, plop, plop, left right and centre and making hundreds of thousands of pounds and inroads into very hub of establishment, while I career rudderless and, boyfriendless through dysfunctional relationships and professional stagnation."
• "Exes should never, never go out with or marry other people but should remain celibate to the end of their days in order to provide you with a mental fallback position."
• “We had a long discussion about the comparative merits of Mr. Darcy and Mark Darcy, both agreeing that Mr. Darcy was more attractive because he was ruder but that being imaginary was a disadvantage that could not be overlooked.”

Some Favourites: Emotional F***wittage, Smug Married, "Oh, my godfathers, darling!!!"