FREE, FREAK, FREAKED!

Stage I: School days, where I was caught dreaming away to glory ever so often by my Biology teacher. I loved looking at plants outside the window; she didn't get that I didn't care that it was Nephrolepis and possessed sporangia. Most teachers chose to ignore me, the tiny scrawny kid with the huge head of hair. I didn't mind the anonymity, I was scared of the spotlight anyway. From the one time I was pushed onto stage to act the role of "Mr. Blockhead" (yes, yes, very much to my misery) to the rare presentation on The Old Squire, I mostly managed to wriggle out of anything that brought me within view of the public eye.

Stage II: The third bench from the back and staring blankly at a board with z=x+iy scrawled all over it. Utter boredom and no comprehension whatsoever.. Complex numbers, the bane of my existence. I found some respite in the fact that at least nobody pulled me up for dreaming here.. but then came Communication Skills. My phone bill said I should be good at it.. but then that was the result of talking to just one at a time, unlike my final CS presentation. I'd stood holding, in sweaty cold hands, a half-damp piece of paper with 50 lines on it. I'd spent the last six hours reading it over and over again, committing every syllable to memory. When I did start speaking, I was ghostly white and stammering. What clinched the entire stage show was the wide eyed stare that went around the classroom for a good three minutes after a draft blew the paper from my hand.

Stage III: Five years and an MBA later, the wide-eyed stare is, now, apparently not Scared, but Scary. Or so Some say:P I still prepare for a good three hours before a 20 minute presentation, so when I was told I would have to train a group of sales guys with role-playing and self-discovery sessions included, I was all ready to squeeze myself out of the restroom window. I was to teach the Art of Selling without having sold a thing in my life. I was to solve problems I didn't even know existed.

After walking in circles the entire night with a ten page long Word doc, it was time to face one of my biggest fears- carrying on an interactive session with 15 people who faced the realities of life and rejection in the field every single day.. for three whole hours. I didn't start with a bang or close with one, but I managed to get through the morning with some amount of grace and dignity.

A mountain out of a molehill? Maybe. But it also helped that only half the intended number turned up :)