I'M SCARY

There are those who are highly bemused when others talk of me as a mild, simple girl. I would like to think I'm simple, uncomplicated.. but I know I'm not mild when I see those such as waiters and delivery boys scuttle even though I'm smiling at them. And then there are those who say I'm scary when I make presentations, when I'm actually quaking all through. Sigh. Think I'm sadly misunderstood..

Bu then there are times when it is necessary to frighten. Disclaimer: I do not go out of my way to exert my apparently unnatural powers, but also do not hesitate when the opportunity presents itself. One such did, the other day, at the Reliance Fresh next door.

I liked visiting the place for its fresh veggies, and discovered that they have a card thingy for frequent visitors. Now, as is typical, the card thingy is a dreary drag, but what is attractive is the home delivery system that it brings with it.

So I stood in the queue and filled out the bare minimum details of an awfully lengthy form. The wait had me in a fair way to losing my temper, and when the lad asked me to fill out the section titled 'Optional Details', I asked, "Really? Why?" He looked surprised, and told me they needed the details. I took a deep breath and pointed out, a tad curtly, that it said Optional. He said, "Nahi Madam.. aapko likhna padega."

I took a step backward and looked at him, predatorily. Puny thing, he was. I would not raise my voice. "Do you think I carry my pan Card with me when I step out in my track pants and a faded shirt to buy veggies? And do you really expect me to tell you my family's monthly income so that you can decide whether to deliver Rs 25 worth of veggies to my possibly ramshackle house? If so, you can please call your manager and tell him that I would like to speak to the cause of this irrationality." I wonder if it was the sarcasm, the fact that I asked for the manager, or the English spoken at full speed that scared him. The result was that he looked like he'd seen a ghost, and grabbed the sheet from my hand. He then told me that I would have no problem whatsoever with home delivery in the future, all the time probably hoping that I'd never show up there again.

I'm scary, I've been told. Sometimes, I use it to advantage and chuckle deep inside. When actually bloodthirsty, I think a glimpse of my canines would give me away. For all the other times, I insist I'm sadly misunderstood :)