WONKY, SQUEAKY AND ME

Pouring with sweat, I clenched my hair in frustration. I was standing on a wonky chair which was propped up on a spongy bed and peering into the bedroom fan.

I’d been awakened by strange noises all of a sudden one night, a week ago. Now, typically, nothing wakes me up. And I really mean nothing. But this was a high pitched, shrill squeak that was like irritating chalk on a blackboard. While I half-expected to have the entire thing fall on me, the other half of my sleepy brain told me it was a mouse stuck inside the fan, protesting. Between having the fan put a dent in me and rescuing an icky mouse, I chose to spend the night sweltering. The next day, all was well. Maybe it’d been a cranky night for the fan, or maybe the mouse just ran off.. out of the house somewhere to tell the tale of its day out.

This evening, it started again, much louder than before. It squeaked and squeaked, and squeaked its li’l plasticky lungs out, driving me out of my mind. It was time for Action.

I dragged a chair from the dining table and onto the bed. I still wasn’t tall enough to get a good look. My three inch heels came on next. I was finally in a position to poke around the insides. As I flashed the light from my cellphone, I was dismayed to find a whole lot of wire-crap. Nothing was hanging loose that I could tape up! It was just a whole lot of dusty wires with a funny looking motor-thingy. I did notice that the ceiling-hole-blocking thingy had lost a screw-- maybe that was rubbing against the top thingy and thus being noisy? I scrambled for some cello tape and scissors, and was soon snipping of huge bits and sticking it to the ceiling. As I stepped back to look at my handiwork, I patted myself on the back for having been fairly neat.

With bated breath, I flipped the switch. A couple of tens of seconds passed, with only silent whirring. The feeling of victory was just taking over the frustrated soul when it started, yet again, and with more vigor than ever before. I gave up. I needed help. I'd poked, prodded and even fed it oil from a spoon like a baby, and it wouldn't give in.

I am now out of my bed, roomless and sleeping on the floor. If anybody dares remind me at this point that I am an Instrumentation engineer, I shall wail like the banshee in my fan!