HIT!

Over the years, I've caught many a creature creeping around my bedroom.. the four-legged type, and the multiple legged type. They don't seem to comprehend a glare like the two-legged ones do :S

Tonight, it was a cockroach. As I plodded around my lovely bathroom feeling squeaky clean with scrubbed feet, I saw it crawl out from a corner. It had blocked the exit. I knew not what to do, I knew not where to hide!

As it crept past the door and under the basin, good sense prevailed. The vision of the bottle of Hit sitting in one corner next to the broom flashed before my eyes. I had to get to that, and all would be right with the world. I pulled up my pyjamas, took a flying leap out of the door, onto the bed, and then scampered toward my roach-killer.

Back in the bathroom, I couldn't spot it. Where was it hiding?! I decided a spray all around would do it good. As I squeezed my eyes shut and blindly sprayed the whole place, I saw it fly out and start flip-flopping. Now, one would think that I would have felt sorry.. but it only freaked me more as it flip-flopped its way closer. Its underbelly ain't pretty.

I left it lying there for a while, just to make sure it was really dead, and wouldn't suddenly jump up to boo me. I dug out the dustpan and broom, and braced myself. This was the part that brought me in close proximity with the arthropod. As I pushed it onto the dustpan, it decided to twitch its legs in an eerie parting shot. I flew, squealing, to the balcony and flung it out into the empty lot behind my house. The ordeal was over.

For all women who fear roaches and have to tackle them single-handed, here's some help:

• Hit! is a life-saver. Keep multiple bottles in different parts of the house. You never know which exit it might block.
• However obsessively clean you are, someday, one will turn up. Beware of Roach.
  
• Know where your dustpan is at all times, even if your maid is the only one to ever touch it.
  
• On the battlefield, tell yourself repeatedly that although you can't fly, you are bigger. You can take 'em.
• Squeal all you want. It might go deaf and die. Whatever works.

Let them not get the better of you. Hit 'em all. If they're tiptoeing around your bedroom, they're probably up to no good ;)