HMMM...
After a craazy, but lovely week, I seem to be doing a lot of soul-searching and wondering. Now, I'm not the kind that normally broods over the past. I'm reminiscent and I'm nostalgic, but I'm rarely emotional-- to the extent of being jokingly called a robot with an ice cold, stony heart:D
The week began with me realizing that I've got a tonne of work to be done before G landed on campus, and this was not counting thesis work. After finishing a very rushed book presentation and muddling through my International Marketing report, I managed to wake up at 7.30 a.m. [yes, yes, ME!! And this shall always remain a feather in my cap:) ] in time for G's bus.
We spent a lazy weekend and a night where we discussed everything we haven't managed to in the past year. We even spoke of love, hate and infidelity. We watched Sex and the City, with large pauses as related topics were initiated in between and gossiping was necessary:) It has been ages since we arbitly walked around and unconcernedly discussed anything and everything, staying awake till 5 a.m.
I had the loveliest time ever, and as I returned to an empty room, I realised how much I missed people back home. As I thought over all that we spoke of, and looked at an old classmate's photo album today, I saw that people have moved on, saw how much they've achieved, the shortcomings they've made peace with. Some of them are now very happy.
Not-so-arbitly wondering: In many ways, I'm still at the same place I was five years ago- dissatisfied. Do I want what I can't get, or do I want it because I can't get it?
I'm not sad or sentimental, purely dispassionately analytical. But I still want to see light at the end of my tunnel.
After a craazy, but lovely week, I seem to be doing a lot of soul-searching and wondering. Now, I'm not the kind that normally broods over the past. I'm reminiscent and I'm nostalgic, but I'm rarely emotional-- to the extent of being jokingly called a robot with an ice cold, stony heart:D
The week began with me realizing that I've got a tonne of work to be done before G landed on campus, and this was not counting thesis work. After finishing a very rushed book presentation and muddling through my International Marketing report, I managed to wake up at 7.30 a.m. [yes, yes, ME!! And this shall always remain a feather in my cap:) ] in time for G's bus.
We spent a lazy weekend and a night where we discussed everything we haven't managed to in the past year. We even spoke of love, hate and infidelity. We watched Sex and the City, with large pauses as related topics were initiated in between and gossiping was necessary:) It has been ages since we arbitly walked around and unconcernedly discussed anything and everything, staying awake till 5 a.m.
I had the loveliest time ever, and as I returned to an empty room, I realised how much I missed people back home. As I thought over all that we spoke of, and looked at an old classmate's photo album today, I saw that people have moved on, saw how much they've achieved, the shortcomings they've made peace with. Some of them are now very happy.
Not-so-arbitly wondering: In many ways, I'm still at the same place I was five years ago- dissatisfied. Do I want what I can't get, or do I want it because I can't get it?
I'm not sad or sentimental, purely dispassionately analytical. But I still want to see light at the end of my tunnel.
posted by A at 7:18 PM
2 Comments:
I distinctly remember that I was not "JOKING" when I said you were rock hearted...
Yes, the grass on the other side IS greener. But yeah, it could be a pain convincing people with better credentials that THIS is not quite the place to be ;-)
well, im going to ignore that statement and continue with the belief that you WERE joking. pah!
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