THE WOOLY-WOOLY FEELING
I have always felt decidely pleased with the excellent nature of my constitution, one that lets me tuck wholeheartedly into anything vegetarian, without taking a turn for the worse. It has been game for all kinds of food, and has even helped out-eat a few condescending boys, who, misled by the frail-looking outline, thought it wasn't even a challenge :)
But today, to my despair, it decided to act up. Out on a shopping spree, in the cool comfort of a luxurious car, it felt like something was jumping about inside. "Urgh", I said to myself, "I should have eaten something before I left." It had happened a couple of times before, but I tried to squish the idea. Half the health problems in the world are psychological, I thought.
It jumped again. Higher this time. There appeared to be a tiny, hyperactive creature inside, using my stomach like a trampoline. The feeling kept coming higher and higher up, till I wondered if I wanted to burp. Well, I couldn't. I was on my best behaviour in good company. Maybe if I tried to smother the sound..
Didn't help. We got to our destination, and finished shopping to go on to lunch. Miraculously, the feeling was gone. I smiled at my tummy as one would to a good, well-mannered child. Back to the car we went, but I wasn't worried.
About ten kilometres down the highway, I felt, what can only be described as a 'wooly' feeling. Nothing jumped this time, but it felt as if my food pipe had been stuffed with rolls of cotton wool. Polite conversation gave way to silence, as I tried to squish the need to belch. It appeared, horror of horrors, that The Stomach disliked good cars!!!!!!!
After many minutes of speculation, I resigned to the fact my tummy had an aversion to Quality. It broke my heart. My dreams of a Jaguar someday seemed to crash, and I could see myself travelling only in tumbledown buses and bumpy cars, with only The Stomach for company.
Two hours of sighing and feeling extremely sorry at the desertion of my pride and joy, I now have a vision of myself, wrapped from head to toe, in an ST bus, looking resignedly at the boy in the next seat who throws up outside the window. My middle, meanwhile, purrs happily at having got its way.
I have always felt decidely pleased with the excellent nature of my constitution, one that lets me tuck wholeheartedly into anything vegetarian, without taking a turn for the worse. It has been game for all kinds of food, and has even helped out-eat a few condescending boys, who, misled by the frail-looking outline, thought it wasn't even a challenge :)
But today, to my despair, it decided to act up. Out on a shopping spree, in the cool comfort of a luxurious car, it felt like something was jumping about inside. "Urgh", I said to myself, "I should have eaten something before I left." It had happened a couple of times before, but I tried to squish the idea. Half the health problems in the world are psychological, I thought.
It jumped again. Higher this time. There appeared to be a tiny, hyperactive creature inside, using my stomach like a trampoline. The feeling kept coming higher and higher up, till I wondered if I wanted to burp. Well, I couldn't. I was on my best behaviour in good company. Maybe if I tried to smother the sound..
Didn't help. We got to our destination, and finished shopping to go on to lunch. Miraculously, the feeling was gone. I smiled at my tummy as one would to a good, well-mannered child. Back to the car we went, but I wasn't worried.
About ten kilometres down the highway, I felt, what can only be described as a 'wooly' feeling. Nothing jumped this time, but it felt as if my food pipe had been stuffed with rolls of cotton wool. Polite conversation gave way to silence, as I tried to squish the need to belch. It appeared, horror of horrors, that The Stomach disliked good cars!!!!!!!
After many minutes of speculation, I resigned to the fact my tummy had an aversion to Quality. It broke my heart. My dreams of a Jaguar someday seemed to crash, and I could see myself travelling only in tumbledown buses and bumpy cars, with only The Stomach for company.
Two hours of sighing and feeling extremely sorry at the desertion of my pride and joy, I now have a vision of myself, wrapped from head to toe, in an ST bus, looking resignedly at the boy in the next seat who throws up outside the window. My middle, meanwhile, purrs happily at having got its way.
posted by A at 5:25 PM
14 Comments:
And to think u were NEVER OK with my calling u a "weirdo". Stomach's not ok? pop in a Pudin Hara and sit quiet... yes, yes I know u like the cool burp u let out thanks to the transparent green pearl.
I assure you, I'm perfectly normal. The fact that I love luxury to a fault proves that I'm just like the next materialistic human, does it not?
As for The Stomach, I know not what to say.. but it does sometimes choose to speak for itself, if you just listen for the rumble..
Yay, you are weird again!! Did you also feel like performing other bodily functions? Can we (with bated breaths) expect posts on The Nose (sneezing in multiples of four), The Intestines (er) and The Eyebrows? Oops, the last one is already done.
You're allergic to expensive cars!! Do you think the tendency could run in the fraternal side of your family? *wonders* and *hopes*
Ah, but open-top convertibles should still be all right for The Stomach .. the freely-circulating air is supposed to be beneficial. So you can still have a Ferrari, if not a Jaguar. Reasonably cool.
I just want to say one word here... AHEM!!!
deepbluesea: Nooo.. you're mean again!!! And the sneezing has now surprisingly stopped- The Nose refuses to adhere to the Rule of Four. It may have been the air of Ahmedabad that had it disgruntled..
As for the other Function, I hesitate to shock, weird as I might be :P
aditi: I'm hoping it does not.. since there appears, at this current moment, to be little chance of acquiring one myself. There is a much greater possibility of the big brother spending on luxury after, say, two years, don't you think?? :)
the one: If only it were possible to experiment and test the hypothesis!! *Thoughts of befriending dashing, rich stranger who might, perchance, own a Ferrari or.. even two*
:D
dsk: Boo!!
Jaguar?!! what ahppened to the Porsche 911 with the customised number plate.. it breaks my heart..
@A - Cars? Luxury? me buy for you?? Hellllloooo? In your wildest dreams!! Rather no no, not even in them. I will buy a 911 turbo for meself, and gloat over it. *drools*
@Aditi - If wishes were horses, there would be no cars *grins*
ritesh: There apparently is a plan for a 911 in the family already. Don't kill me if the two of you aren't speaking about the same car.. I accept that I know shockingly little about the damned things :D
thefirstidiot: First the island, then the car. Don't even hope that I'll let up.. cause I won't :P
Hey Anj -- nice blog!
u mental arbit woman! very cute post... has me smiling from ear to ear
shall see u soon
Try Eno, Pudin Hara or anything else but dont give up on the Jaguar
If all else fails, you can still gift away the Jag to poor deserving candidates like me
monika: Thanks:) happy you liked :):)
tejuja: hehheheehe thanks:) buzz me when here!!
pushkar: You don't believe I'd ever consider a B'lore passout a poor deserving candidate, do you?? I have big plans to sponge off of one in about two years :D Where do you think the Jag's coming from? ;);)
Post a Comment
<< Home